HEY, KID, YOU'RE   A LONG WAY   FROM NICKTOONS!

Some TMNT stuff was always meant for grownups.

Frontispiece

[Splinter sits on a chair in the center of a room. There are bookcases on either side of him filled with books and both books and scrolls are stacked around the chair. His walking stick leans against a stack of those books, and in one hand he holds a lily, in the other he holds nunchaku.] Splinter "Lonely warrior, your path is difficult. Should we strive to be as cold-hearted as our worst enemy? Like your mighty brothers, you too are a warrior born and trained. You, though, are not as steely-edged as may be required... You follow your heart on a broken, curving road to uncertain destinations. Even so, there may still be balance for you. Will you choose wisely? With compassion? Or will you think only of yourself? We shall see. Let me tell you a story..."

Page 1

The Path [Splinter sits cross-legged in meditation, a single lit candle to one side of him. His eyes are closed, but a frown begins to form and then suddenly his eyes snap open.] Splinter "Death..."

Page 2

[Holding a plate with a sandwich on it and carrying a drink, Leonardo enters the living room of the turtles' apartment. Donatello is on his computer in a corner of the room, with Klunk on the carpet behind him. Michelangelo is seated on the couch staring at the television. Raphael is on the floor in front of the couch, with an open magazine.] Leonardo "What's on TV?"

Page 3

Michelangelo "Nothin'..." Leonardo "Whaddaya mean "nothin" - it's six o'clock. The Simpsons are on. Where's the remote?" Michelangelo "Nah, I don't feel like watching TV." Leonardo "You don't feel like watching TV?" [Klunk hops onto the desk next to Donatello.] Donatello "Oh, hi Klunk." Michelangelo "Is there an echo in here?" Raphael "What's with you?"

Page 4

[Klunk pushes aside an opening in the screen on the window and goes outside.] Donatello "Klunk! No! Hey Mike, you'd better watch your cat - he just got out again." Michelangelo "*sigh*" Raphael "Geez, Mikey, how many times do I have to remind you to fix that hole in the screen?" Michelangelo "What's the big deal? Why not just let him go out?" Raphael "'Cause I've heard him fighting with the cat that lives in the alley. Who know's what he's gonna catch from that mangy fleabag? That's why!"

Page 5

[Klunk jumps down from the fire escape and into the alley. An old lady pushing a shopping cart enters the alley. She has cats in a carrier and one is sitting on top of the carrier.] Lilly "Oo. Lookit my pretties, lookit. It's a kitty - a pretty, little kitty."

Page 6

Lilly "Don't be afraid, kitty, I'll take care of you. Kitty?" [She reaches out towards Klunk.] Klunk "hsssss" [Klunk takes off running.] Lilly "Kitty, no! Come back!"

Page 7

[Klunk runs out into the street. A man is in his car, talking on his cell phone.] Driver "Work sucked as usual. I'll be home in ten minutes. Where are you? - Wha?!" [He spots Klunk and swerves. The car hits a street lamp, but clips Klunk too.] CRAAASHHH!

Page 8

[Back in the Turtles' apartment...] Donatello "Did you hear that?" Raphael "It sounded like a car accident." [The Turtles go to the windows and look down at the street. The man is in the street on his phone and Lilly is pushing her cart on the sidewalk.] Driver "And then this stupid cat ran right out in front of me! I don't know! Who cares?! My car is totaled!" Michelangelo "Klunk"

Page 9

[The driver spots Lilly.] Driver "Hey - Hey you! Was that your cat? Look at what he did to my car!" [Lilly picks up the injured Klunk.] Driver "Don't you go anywhere! My attorney's on the phone right now." Lilly "Poor kitty, poor kitty. Kitty's broken." [Lilly places Klunk in her cart and walks away from the accident.] Driver "What!? She's getting away down the alley! Hey, stop! Yeah, right - there's no way I'm going in there!" Lilly "Broken kitty... Must get to the river..."

Page 10

[Michelangelo is no longer at the window with the other Turtles.] Raphael "Geez, Mikey, that crazy bag lady took Klunk. Mikey?" [Michelangelo enters the room while donning clothing to hide his appearance. He opens the window and hops out onto the fire escape. His brothers all look around at each other.]

Page 11

Lilly "Must get to river... Fix kit-" [Michelangelo lands in the alley in front of Lilly, startling her cat.] Michelangelo "My cat. You have my cat. Give him to me."

Page 12

[Lilly cradles Klunk in her arms.] Lilly "N... No... Kitty is broken. Must get to river. Must fix kitty." [Michelangelo runs at Lilly.] Michelangelo "I told you-" [He shoves Lilly as he takes Klunk from her.] Paf! Lilly "Ohhh...!" Michelangelo "-Give him to me!" [Kneeling in the alley, Michelangelo cradles Klunk.] Michelangelo "Oh, Klunk, No... How could this have happened?"

Page 13

Lilly "Lilly can fix kitty. Lilly know Tomas." Michelangelo "Can't you see that he's bleeding? I've got to somehow get him to a vet!" Lilly "No vet. Vet no fix kitty. Tomas fix kitty. You come quick. Bring kitty." [Lilly starts pushing her cart away, moving fast.] Lilly "No vet. Vet no fix kitty. Tomas fix kitty. You come quick. Bring kitty." [Michelangelo runs along behind her.] Michelangelo "Hurry, hurry. Must get to river."

Page 14

[Near the river's edge, under a bridge, is a small ramshackle building. Smoke flows from the stovepipe, and also from a firepit in the yard in front of the shack, though the fire has been put out. A small goat is tethered to a stake near the firepit. There is junk all around. Lilly pushes her cart towards the shack and Michelangelo keeps following her.] Lilly "River."

Page 15

[The shack's door opens and a tall, thin man steps out.] Tomas "Hello, Leely. What haf you brought me tonight?" Lilly "See, Tomas - kitty. Tomas fix kitty."

Page 16

[Tomas comes down the stairs from his shack and walks towards Michelangelo.] Michelangelo "Can you help me?" Tomas "Let me see him." [Michelangelo hands Klunk to Tomas.] Tomas "Relax, stranger. You are among friends here." [Michelangelo watches as Tomas examines Klunk.] Tomas "Thees cat... Ees not long for him. He has dee mark of death upon heem."

Page 17

Michelangelo "No! I won't accept that! Isn't there anything you can do for him?" Tomas "Dere ees a way... A life... for a life."

Page 18

Lilly "A life for a life..." Michelangelo "You mean... my life?" Tomas "No, eet must be an equal life... a comparable life." Michelangelo "A cat, then." Tomas "Si, yes. Breeng me a cat." [Michelangelo looks over at Lilly.] Michelangelo "Lilly! Lilly, please..."

Page 19

[Lilly stands protectively in front of her cart.] Lilly "No! You no have my kitties! Raimi, Campbell and Ed are Lilly's kitties!" Michelangelo "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lilly. I..." [He turns to leave.] Michelangelo "I know! I'll be right back!" [He races off.]

Page 20

[Michelangelo springs onto a fire escape and onto a roof.] Shhk [Breathing heavily, he runs across rooftops.] Hff Hff Hff Hff Hff Hff

Page 21

[Michelangelo suddenly comes to a quick stop.] Skkff Michelangelo "What am I doing?!" Herf Herf Herf [He grabs his head.] Michelangelo "This is insane! What do I do?" [He lifts his arms and shouts at the sky.] AARGHH! [Michelangelo notices a rat dash out from under an air conditioning unit and into a roof pipe. He stands still, deep in thought.]

Page 22

[A flashback begins.] Last week: Splinter "Walk with me, Michelangelo. There is something that I want to talk to you about." [They walk together through a sewer tunnel.] Michelangelo "What is it, Master?" Splinter "I have had a premonition... Although it's meaning is unclear. Nonetheless, I feel compelled to speak with you." Michelangelo "Yes, Master." Splinter "I am worried about you, Michelangelo. I am worried about your safety. The way of the warrior has found acceptance and lives in your brothers but for you it is not so easy. I fear there is a weakness... And that it represents danger for you."

Page 23

Splinter "You must learn to put aside emotion and simply act. For you the battle is not out there. It will be waged here." [Splinter taps Michelangelo's chest with his walking stick.] Tap Splinter "The ones we battle do not share your sense of morality." Michelangelo "What are you saying, Master? That I should be more like Raphael?" Splinter "I tell you this with great hesitation and sadness, for what I sense in you is a pureness beyond value. What I am asking of you is to leave that behind, yet not forget it." Michelangelo "Is that what you have done, Master?" Splinter "One must be prepared to walk the path one has chosen, Michelangelo."

Page 24

[While they wait, Tomas watches Lilly petting one of her cats, who purrs.] Prrrrrrrr [Michelangelo comes running up carrying a cat.] Michelangelo "I'm back!"

Page 25

[Tomas sets Klunk on the ground.] Tomas "You have dee sacrifice?" Michelangelo "Yes, here." [He hands the cat to Tomas.] Michelangelo "It's okay. I know this cat... It's been hanging out in the alley below where I live..." [Tomas stares at the cat.] Michelangelo "Nobody loves it. Just look at it..."

Page 26

[For a moment, Michelangelo stands very still, staring at the stray, Tomas and Klunk. The Michelangelo hangs his head.] Michelangelo "I... I can't do it!" Tomas "Are you sure?" Michelangelo "Yes... Let her go." [Klunk looks up at Michelangelo.] Michelangelo "I'm sorry, Klunk... I'm so sorry."

Page 27

[Michelangelo lifts Klunk and holds him in his arms.] Michelangelo "Goodbye, friend." [He walks away with Klunk and the stray runs alongside beside him.] Tomas "Eet was not a comparable life."

Page 28

[Michelangelo enters Splinter's room.] Michelangelo "Master, may I have a word with you?" Splinter "Yes, come in, Michelangelo. Sit down." Michelangelo "Thank you." [Michelangelo takes a seat on the floor across from his father.] Michelangelo "Last week, when you told me to walk like a warrior..." Splinter "The path of the warrior." Michelangelo "Yes, forgive me, Master... The path of the warrior. I have failed... to do so. I was unable to make a choice that I needed, that I, uh, wanted to make. To put emotion aside... In not making this choice, I... lost a friend."

Page 29

Splinter "You are the lily on the riverbank, Michelangelo." Michelangelo "How did you know...?" Splinter "The lily on the riverbank is the most beautiful flower of all. The river's parting of the trees affords it the most plentiful sunshine. It enjoys the richest soil and never wants for water. Yet if the river rises the lily will be washed away. Now answer me this - is the lily better off deep in the woods, safely within a crevice in a rock... or on that riverbank?" Michelangelo "Uh, I don't know, Master." Splinter "I am not perfect, my son. Perhaps you, who walks two paths, has something to teach me."

Page 30

[The other turtles arrive at Splinter's room.] Donatello "Sorry for interrupting, Master - May we borrow Mikey?" Splinter "Yes. The lesson has concluded." [Donatello signals to Michelangelo.] Donatello "C'mon." [The four turtles go down the stairs to the exit.] Michelangelo "What's going on?" Raphael "You'll see."

Page 31

[They step out into the alley next to their building. Michelangelo looks up at the sky.] Michelangelo "Wow, it sure is a beautiful night." [Leonardo bends over a box that's up against the wall of the opposite building.] Leonardo "C'mere, check this out." [Inside the box is the cat that Michelangelo had caught to take to Tomas. Four kittens are in the box with the cat.] Raphael "The fleabag had kittens." Michelangelo "Wow." Donatello "I did a DNA test. They're Klunk's." [Michelangelo picks up one of the kittens and cradles it in his hand.] Michelangelo "That's sick, you geekoid. I could tell that just by looking at them."

Page 32

[The turtles stand in the alley together as Michelangelo pets the kitten.] The End.